Take A Walk With Me
One Day you'll have to say goodbye
​
Tear drips, tear number two drips.
Who notices. Not one set of eyes care.
My soul melts inside and the “dramatic water works” are all it is.
Does anyone really know who I am? Does anyone care?
I’m just the sad girl in the corner. Does anybody see how deep I go to see a smile?
How much my heart breaks to see any human being hurt?
I don’t know if anyone really sees how deep I’m going.
Deep enough to even scare me.
Locked Inside
Locked in a Box I sit, Screaming, Inside My Mind I am Spinning in circles. The Questions Continuing to surface.
What is Next?
Where so I Turn?
Who are You? Who am I?
Spiraling and Spinning out of control.
Will It ever Stop this Mind of Mine?
If Not only when I'm High?
If Not Only, behind closed Eyes?
Instead Inside My head, We go Round and Round on This Twisting and Turny Road though this thing we call Life.
Just Walking this Cluttered Chaos Path until We Die
The Demon in the Mirror
It’s a pain I can control, that blade cutting deeper into my skin, into my soul.
The blood drips down my legs into a pool at my feet, it’s all I can see.
My mind quiets itself to a dull buzzing yet the questions are still swimming through me.
Where am I going?
What am I doing?
Fear that one day the blade is going to cut to deep.
It still won’t compare to the pain of my own mind.
Who am i? Why am I here living this life?
Grow
The flowers grow towards the sky;
leaves shining bright green in the light you bestow.
The darkness closes around me as I watch you go.
My being shines while I die little by little inside.
The question echoes through my head “who takes care of you?”
well I do.
Who else will?
Who else would?
The pain breaks me inside and no one see.
The love given, is a wind blowing in a gentle breeze.
It eases the pain to see the smile on the lips of those who will bring love to this world with silence or violence.
The Question Still remains.
The Game
The Wait Kills Me...
Never Knowing If you do or you don't...
Am I Just a Pawn in Your Life Game?
Or, The Queen that blocks the Beast on the Board?
So you never have to draw Your Own Sword.
Where is This Game that We are Playing Going?
When Will it End?
This Game has Felt Like an Eternity.
A Lifetime With No End.
The Pieces Move Slow, One After The Other. Each Knocked Down as Each Move is Made
Til the Board is Empty of all Except Me Your Beloved Queen.
Nightmares
Hidden in the dark places the secrets lie awake like the skeletons in my closet.
My bones begin to shake, the waves of my mind crash on the chains of my heart.
Making me break into pieces finding the medicine to take it all away as my earth trembles;
AND, I Start to break.
I am walking down these aisles full of snakes…
I open my eyes to the sun to realize I am now awake.
The Healer
She Walks in like a Warm August Breeze that Wraps you in a Hug that you never knew was Needed.
She Shows you a Spark that burned out so long ago, Forgotten from Memory Setting you world a glow
You Grow from the Ashes of Her Sorrow and Fly away with a Smile.
Happy and Free.
As She sits in the Rubble of Her Own Soul Alone.
Oh so Forever Alone.
Who Am I?
Stand by the future may explode.
Sitting here wondering why?
There are tears dripping down my eyes.
Wishing I could just sleep away the pain.
Of the forever running question of who am I?
The lost girl who is only trying to get by?
The best friend?
The lover in the shadows?
The broken heart?
Who am i?
I will stand by and watch it all blow.
No Alarms Needed
Eyes Burning Read,
Black Tears Running down my Cheeks,
Angry flames rising up into my faces,
I can't think, I can't Breath.
And then comes that sweet, sweet relief as I watch the drops roll down my legs,
Like the slits are crying their own tears of pain.
6 Months,6 months, it's been 6 fucking months.
Why? Why am I like this?
Why does it feel so good to feel the deep cut of a blade?
It is a pain I can control.
The fire of my soul is chaos ruled of it's own accord.
My heart aches for more but,
I am running out of room to hide the forming Scars.
As the pain dulls the aches inside,
My mind wanders imagining the bliss of that one swift kiss good night.
That one swift flick of the razor hitting to deep,
Singing me the sweetest songs to sleep.
Chitter Chatter
Chitter chatter... Chitter Chatter... like they know.
They don’t know. If they did they wouldn’t say the things that they say.
Give up on this person I love!? Give up on This person I've loved for so long!?!?
Chitter Chatter... Chitter Chatter...
Give Up you say?!?!?!?!
Why? because his brain doesn’t work to the highs I need all time?
No! I knew what I signed up for from the start!
No I will not give up because it's not perfect and he sometimes breaks my heart!
No I will not give up on him!
I stand sometimes high and sometimes low. By his side or not...depending on those voices he tries to hide.
How can I walk away from a man I love so deeply Just because he is suffering to the point of my own trenches overflowing from his hurtful words.
But he does not mean them...Or so I hope.
Chitter Chatte... Chitter Chatter...
It is my choice to stay inside because out is fearful to him. He does not make me!
So Do not look upon him as a bad man.
I stand by his side in my own choices in this life!
And, I've accepted my fate because at the end of the day
Love will kill me in the end.